


between who you are and who you could be

by Cadensaurus (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10816701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cadensaurus
Summary: Phil hasn't had a relationship in two years, and one day he meets a very cute guy named Dan in a bit of a clumsy accident. After a bit of talking, he gives Dan his number. They find themselves mutually compatible and eventually start letting each other into their more playful side, growing more confident in themselves and each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So one day I was talking with heckdan, and I was like "we should write an au where phil is an actor and dan is a songwriter working on the score for a movie he's in" and she was like "yeah let's do that" and then we started it and both went "we know nothing about film making", threw the whole thing out, and came up with this instead. So yeah, instead of that, have Dan and Phil who are just unknown strangers who bump into each other and fall in love along the way.

Okay, so, here’s the thing. Phil needs to find someone to date soon or he’s going to go out of his mind. He’s a few months into being thirty and the last person to actually date him for more than an evening out was his ex-girlfriend and that was two years ago. 

It’s not like he’s an ogre, he’s good looking enough, and it’s not like he’s got a bad personality, it’s just apparently he’s “quirky”. He gets told that a lot. He’s never thought of it as a bad thing, but when he grins too hard, his tongue sticks out a little, and he still thinks making weird animal noises are funny, and sometimes that happens on his dates, and they smile at him in a way that doesn’t quite reach their eyes and he knows he’s screwed up. 

But he doesn’t want to be some false person hiding who he is and falling for someone only to open up and find out that they don’t actually like him for who he really is. It’s easier just to let them see who he is on the first date and hope for the best. 

Two years of hoping is getting old though. So yeah, he needs to find someone who’ll date him for more than one night and soon, because he’s lonely. He misses dating, holding someone’s hand and kissing them goodnight and the butterflies you get early on in the relationship every time you think of them. So he’s sat in his local cafe, sipping on a sugary coffee drink, because it’s too early in the morning for him to think yet, looking around and trying to see if there’s anybody there he can possibly maybe chat up. 

Dan doesn’t go out much. He considers himself more of a homebody and would rather spend the greater part of the day inside his flat. On this particular day, however, he was out of milk for his coffee, and he certainly wasn’t going to go without his morning drink, so he finds his way to a cozy cafe nearby.

His eyes wander the room in search of a place for him to sit down until he decides on a little table in the corner. He sits with his back to the rest of the cafe and pulls out his phone. He doesn’t want it to be obvious that he is sitting alone, even if more than half of the other patrons are doing the same thing. It’s been over a year since he and his ex broke up, but being alone in public still feels odd. 

Phil glances up each time the door opens, a little bell hanging over it dinging, and it’s an automatic reflex to just glance up each time. An elderly lady coming in for just a black coffee, a yuppie with a tiny dog stuffed in her arms, panting and growling one solemn growl at the barista working the counter, a young man, tall, with brown hair that borders between wavy and curly. The first two come and go, the third, stays, sitting, and Phil watches him. 

He’s dated mostly women in his life - easier to meet, but he’s not unattracted to men. He was seventeen when he had his first boyfriend, which lasted all of three months, and he never told his parents until two years later, afraid they’d laugh at him or even worse, scorn him, but to his relief they’d been fine with it, and had actually been disappointed they hadn’t met him (and proceeded to play a guessing game of which all his high school friends it could have been until he finally shut them up with “It was James, okay? James.”)

He keeps an eye on this guy, who is definitely cute, and wonders what the chances are if he wanders over and orders a drink for him he’ll be shot down and with what kind of rejection. He glances away, not wanting to stare too long, not wanting to be obvious. He’s got to work at some point today - he works from home editing newspaper articles - but he’s in no rush to leave now that he’s got something cute to look at. 

Dan is focused on making himself blend into the crowd. He doesn’t want to be the awkward guy in the corner, but he can’t seem to act natural as he scrolls through twitter. He taps his knuckles against the table and hums a tune despite his desperate attempt to not draw attention to himself. 

He can almost feel the eyes on him and he’s glad he has his back turned so he can’t nervously look up at the room every few seconds. 

He’s determined to finish his coffee and escape this social hell as soon as possible, but of course, he can’t help but fuck up. In one swift motion his hand knocks his cup over and the hot content spills all over his jeans. 

It’s not the sound of a coffee cup clattering to the floor but the noise that emerges from the newcomer’s mouth, unbidden because who wouldn’t yelp out discomfort at hot coffee spilling over them, that draws Phil’s attention. 

He watches as this cute young man cleans himself up awkwardly, and thinks perhaps maybe this is a shot. He gets up, wanders over to the barista. “Excuse me, what was that guy over there drinking? I’d like to order two, one for him and one for me, seeing as he just spilled it.”

The barista smiles, laughs a little. “Sure thing, sugar.” She tells him. “Two caramel macchiatos coming up.”

Phil sneaks a quick glimpse over his shoulder at the guy. So he likes caramel macchiatos too. That’s a start to the conversation, perhaps. “Do you know his name? Like, does he come in here regularly?”

The barista, who is currently steaming hot milk into the cup, shakes her head. “Nah, first time I’ve seen him. But if you’re looking to chat him up, maybe don’t start with, ‘Hi, I’ve been staring at you on and off for the better part of fifteen minutes and bought you a drink because I watched you spill it all over yourself.” 

Phil pauses, hides a flinch. “That obvious?” He asks. The barista finishes making his drinks, passes them over. 

“Well, I mean, you’re not as bad as  _ some _ of the guys we get in here, but if I noticed you eyeing him up, it’ll be a miracle if he didn’t.” She answers, and Phil takes the drinks, takes a deep breath. “Just play it cool, hon.”

Phil shoves ten quid to cover the coffee, collects his change, and makes his way over to the damp but very attractive fellow, glancing around and tapping at his phone. “Hi,” he says. “So, um. Want a free drink from a stranger who figures everybody should get to enjoy a coffee without spilling it?”

It’s not much better than what the barista told him, but maybe it’s a step up. 

Dan startles at the question, not realizing he had company. He looks up to be greeted with big icy eyes and a kind smile. The stranger looks a little hesitant as well, which helps ease Dan’s nerves as he accepts the coffee. 

“Uh- thank you. That’s really nice of you,” he manages to say without being too weird. 

Normally in a situation like this he would pray for the stranger to go away so he could run back to his flat and cringe in private about the experience, but something about this guy is captivating. It might be the friendly gesture and the fact that this man is very good-looking, or the fact that he misses having someone at the other end of the table, but he catches himself hoping this guy might sit down and stay for a while. 

Phil hands over one of the coffees and takes a sip of his own, too hot, scalding his tongue. “Anyways, I just, um. I noticed you spilled, so I asked the barista what you bought and figured I’d be nice to a stranger and do a good deed or whatnot for the day.” 

He ruffles the back of his hair, blows a breath over the skim of his coffee, and takes a second sip, this time without scalding himself. “So, I guess, um. Enjoy your coffee?” He says. “And I don’t know, if you want to talk or something because you look a little bit like you’re biting at the champ right now, I mean, I don’t know if you need to talk but I guess I’d listen. I’m right over there.” 

He points at his seat, walks away, trying not to glance over his shoulder. He can’t believe he didn’t even introduce himself, he was so nervous. Sometimes he forgets that he’s not just quirky, he’s nervous too. Maybe this is why he doesn’t do well on dates. 

He definitely doesn’t glance over at this cute stranger. Okay. So he glances once or twice. But then he looks away just as fast. 

Dan didn’t expect the stranger to stay, but he wishes he would have had a chance to show him he isn’t a complete goon like he has proven to be so far.

Without giving it a second thought, Dan shoves his phone into his back pocket where it won’t be harmed by his… accident, and grabs his new coffee. He doesn’t need to look too hard for the man. In fact, he stands out quite well being as tall as he is. 

He marches his way over, ready to get a proper introduction out of the guy. 

“Hi, I- um, just wanted to say thanks again for the coffee. My name is Dan, I don’t think I caught your name?”

Phil wasn’t actually expecting said stranger - Dan - to come and talk to him, despite his invitation, and inside, his stomach does a little twirl of delight, and he spits out, “I’m Phil! Phil Lester!” in a bit of a rush, kicks his own ass mentally, forces himself to count to three before he speaks again. “Sit, please. Dan. I’m sorry for not introducing myself.”

Taking a sip of his coffee, he has a chance to peruse Dan’s features longer than he had before. His eyes are rich brown, gorgeous, and Phil thinks if Dan stared at him long enough, he’d get lost in them, and his hair is seriously cute with its wavy factor going on. Phil kind of wants to touch it, to see if it’s as soft as it looks. That’s a serious no-no, though. 

“So, um. Hi,” Phil offers, not sure what else to say. “You’re welcome about the coffee. I’m a nice guy, I like to think.” He offers a smile, not wanting to come off as weird, deciding to clamp his mouth shut before he can say anything stupid and let Dan respond to his current babbling. 

“I promise I’m not as awkward as I’ve let on,” Dan tries to immediately redeem himself. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been out alone. I usually order in or go out with friends ever since my boyfriend and I broke up.”

Dan realizes after he’s already said it that he probably shouldn’t have told this guy, Phil, the gender of his ex. He probably made this situation uncomfortable. 

Phil can’t help but smile, even laugh. “If you’re awkward, then that makes me just a fool,” he answers. “You’re fine, I promise. Everybody has a spilled coffee day, right? Just the other day, I tripped going down the stairs, did about six of them straight on my butt, and couldn’t sit for about two hours.” 

He’s pleased to hear the word boyfriend sidle its way out of Dan’s mouth.  _ I have a shot! _ His head clangs clear as a bell, and he shuts it up with a  _ You’ve just met! _ In responce.  _ Don’t get ahead of yourself, even if he is just about the cutest boy you’ve ever met. _

“Also, I do a lot of takeaway as well - I work from home, and it’s easier to just shop online, get it delivered, you know. But I like to come here once in a while. And that whole friends thing? Gets a hell of a lot more complicated when all your friends are thirty somethings with significant others and you’re the third wheel, or even worse, parents and you’re standing there left going, ‘I have no child, I can’t relate to you anymore’. I’d kill for my twenties, even if I am only a few months into my thirtieth year of life.”

He’s talking too much again, and he brings the coffee to his mouth, takes a long swallow. “Boyfriend?” He says, after the pause. “Ugly breakup? Or amicable? My own relationships have been mostly decent in the end - friends, I suppose. Or so it would seem, if exchanging holiday texts is considered amicable.”

Dan quickly recovers from the shock of Phil’s acceptance of his sexuality. “We had our differences,” he explains, even if vaguely, “I suppose we could have found a way to stay in touch, but we haven’t talked since the week of our breakup, so I think it’s a bit too late to try”.

“What about you?” Dan manages to divert the conversation away from himself, “You seem like a good guy, I’m surprised there aren’t girls lined up waiting for a shot with you”.

Phil smiles again. “Buying a stranger a coffee doesn’t mean I’m a catch. It’s funny you mention it, I was mulling it over earlier, and the word people like to use around me is ‘quirky’.” He brushes a few stray hairs away from his eyes. “I guess quirky doesn’t mean good. My last relationship was two years ago, I’ve been on dates, but it just doesn’t seem to stick. After two or three or eight tries, it makes one wonder where the real problem is.”

_ Oh yeah, just go blabbing all your problems away to him, Phil. Nice. Recover, please?  _ His brain shoots at him and Phil adds a quick, “Not that I’m complaining, we’ve all had dry spells, haven’t we? My high school love life was surprisingly lackluster too.” 

God, he couldn’t sound more like a tool if he tried.

“Quirky, huh?”, Dan couldn’t contain his smile. Phil was definitely quirky, but so far it seemed to be a good type of quirky. 

Phil figures it can’t hurt to let out quirky now, chase Dan off or let him see it. So he grins, a full-faced grin that hits his eyes and lets his tongue poke out at the side of his teeth, and shrugs. “Quirky.”

Then, he ducks his face down into his cup of coffee and takes a fast gulp. He figures he might as well throw out an opening for Dan. “Been a long time since I had a boyfriend. I was, uh, twenty-six? And I’m thirty now?”

He looks at Dan, not wanting to appear too eager, but his fingers tighten into a small curl under the table, and he takes in a slow breath. He doesn’t say,  _ You’re adorable and I want your number _ , instead he just smiles and waits for a response. 

_ That explains why he didn’t run when I mentioned the ex-boyfriend,  _ Dan’s whole face lights up.

“It’s good to meet another guy who dates guys,” he rarely has the chance to make this sort of connection with someone, especially someone he just met by chance in a cafe he’s never been to. 

“I run into guys occasionally who are looking for a quick fuck and don’t care who or what you are as long as they can put it in your ass, but I don’t think that’s the same deal,” Dan blushes at his own words. 

Phil takes in Dan’s words, props his chin in his hand. “It is hard,” he answers, in response to the first part of Dan’s words. “I’m not exactly broadcasting it - if you hadn’t mentioned it first, I wouldn’t have told you. Though I’m not exactly disappointed that you did,” he adds. 

He doesn’t want to come on too strong, either, based off what Dan finished up with. “I’ve had a few one night stands myself in my life, but it’s not really my thing. I prefer getting to know someone and caring about them more. The one night stand thing might have been fun when I was younger, but after a certain point in your life, you find yourself wondering just what fun it is to walk off and wonder where it might have gone if you’d pursued it.”

He hesitates. “So yeah, for me, I’m not that kind of guy, I guess. I like connections.” His phone buzzes, and he glances at it. Email from work, new article for him to work on. He shoves it back in his pocket. That can wait. 

“So we’ve got a few things in common - we both are awkward, we both like caramel macchiatos, and we both like guys. Sounds like we’re off to a good start for a friendship,” Phil says, finally offering a hand to Dan. 

It’s at that point that Dan’s phone begins to buzz, and Phil says, “We’re popular guys, huh?” even as Dan glances down and looks at it. 

“Ah, I gotta take this,” he tells Phil, and heads outside. Phil watches out the window as Dan heads a few feet away, to a somewhat secluded place, so he can hear better. 

Phil waits a couple of minutes, sipping his coffee until it’s gone, and decides to head on home to work on actually making enough money to pay rent this month. But he grabs Dan’s napkin, goes up to the counter and asks for a pen, and scribbles down his number, along with a quick note of  _ call me if you’d like - phil  _ and sliding it back under Dan’s drink. 

As he exits the cafe, he glances over to Dan, who does not seem to notice, takes a long look at this handsome guy, and walks off, unsure if he just did something really stupid or not.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan’s mildly annoyed by the interruption, but when it comes to his work, ignoring the call isn’t an option. After a few minutes of getting the details on his schedule for the week, he thanks his boss for calling and ends the conversation. 

Dan finds an empty table and figures that Phil got up to use the toilet. He hums to himself for a minute, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table, and politely waits for Phil to return. He only sees Phil’s note after he picks up his coffee to take a sip. 

He stuffs the note in his pocket along with his phone and leaves the cafe as well. No point in staying if he’s just sitting alone. 

Phil enters his flat, greets his cat, Sami - a little black thing that he has to take antihistamines for because he’s allergic to cats, and she mews a purling noise from the back of the couch where she’s sleeping, stretches out, and curls back up, flicking an ear as he walks off. 

He opens up his laptop, taking a seat in the comfy office desk chair he bought - he knew a good investment if your job was going to have you sat at your computer for hours at a time was a good chair to support you - and went to his email, opening up the article that he’d been sent not even an hour ago. 

Then, he sets about reading it. It’s an article on local governing news for traffic lights and it’s not like he’s well-versed in that topic, so he’ll have to do some research for that. He plugs his phone in to charge, sitting it next to him, and starts checking out sources for the article, somewhat bored, but again, it pays the rent. 

He could probably work more if he wanted to, he only works about 30 hours a week and it’s enough to pay the rent, groceries, feed Sami, but he doesn’t have much of a savings going on. He’s only got a few hundred quid to his name after all that is said and done. 

He doesn’t own a car, because he doesn’t really need one, and the rent on this place is fairly cheap, but he’d like a nicer place one day. So maybe it’s time to start putting in forty or fifty hour work weeks, taking on extra articles.

He turns on music as he works, quiet, in the background, something to keep him awake while he researches traffic flow and the timing of stop lights, because that’s the most interesting thing in the world (seriously, how does one get a job in that field, it’s so  _ boring _ ).

He honestly doesn’t expect to hear from Dan, although it would be nice, and after an hour or so, he’s forgotten all about Dan. 

Dan, however, can’t stop thinking about Phil. He spends his first hour at home thinking about the note as he walks back and forth through the hallway recalling the earlier events. 

_ Should I call him now? No, no it’s way too soon. But maybe later? Tomorrow? What is he going to say?  _ It’s all too much for him right now, so he goes to the fridge and gets himself some red wine to drink as he works on a segment for his part in the radio show. 

Today was quite the shit show at the cafe, he’s glad no one knows one recognizes him off air. As soon as he isn’t hidden behind his radio persona he becomes a big puddle of awkwardness. It’s much easier when he isn’t seen, but instead heard.

After an hour of working on his segment while slowly downing a couple glasses of wine Dan starts to feel a little buzzed. He pulls out the note from Phil and looks at the number contemplating it before he says  _ screw it  _ and dials the number. 

Normally Phil screens his calls from unknown numbers, but this time, he hears the phone go off and after the first couple rings, it registers in his head,  _ it could be Dan _ and he grabs it, taps to answer it. 

“Hello?” Phil asks, waiting for it to either be Dan or a telemarketer. Sami has awoken and he’s almost done with the article, so he turns his chair away from the desk to undistract himself and gets up, going towards the kitchen. 

“Hi, this is Dan. I wasn’t sure if you would pick up.”

Phil smiles. “Normally I don’t pick up unknown numbers, I let them go to voicemail if they’re an actual person wanting to talk to me, but usuallly they’re telemarketers or robots, but then I remembered I gave you my number. I’m glad you called.”

Sami twines between his legs and he picks her up, scratches her until she starts to purr, balancing on his thighs and arching her rear towards his touch, tail flicking and puffing out slightly. “So how are you doing, Dan? I’ve just been working for the last couple hours, researching traffic light systems for a newspaper article. Let me tell you, you are a welcome break.”

“Are you saying traffic lights aren’t interesting? A million people are shocked and offended,” Dan giggles over the line. Talking with Phil already seems familiar and his words come out naturally. 

Phil chuckles. “I started out on who invented stoplights, how stoplights work, and in a fit of total paranoia, googled ‘are there secret weight sensors underneath that always know when someone is coming from far away in traffic and want to annoy them into being the only one stopping’. That did not give me a lot of search results, can you be surprised?”

“Well it sounds like you’re onto something there. The only explanation for always hitting red lights must be that we are being played with,” Dan smiles and takes a few more sips of his wine, leaning back into his office chair. 

Phil grins. “Just you and me specifically?” he jokes, maybe teases a little - Dan is cute, and admittedly not straight. Can’t hurt to tease if he likes him a little, right? Thinks he’s interesting and wants to get to know him better.

“Of course, they are plotting against us. I refuse to believe anything else,” Dan enjoys this banter, especially the way they both are being a little flirtatious. 

Phil laughs then. “Well, at least I never have to risk being late to work, seeing as I work from home.” He pauses. “What do you do, Dan?’

“I’m part of a radio show. You might have heard me before. I only do my show on the weekend, but I have to put together segments throughout the week to have approved for my Saturday night show. So technically I work from home a majority of the time.”

Phil listens to Dan’s voice more closely after he mentions being part of a radio show. He doesn’t get out enough to listen to radio, so it’s more than unlikely that he’s heard of Dan, though now he’s curious what show, maybe he’ll have to tune in one Saturday.

“Hey, there’s more we have in common, I knew we were supposed to be friends,” Phil comments wryly to Dan, trying to act a little cooler, after all, he’s talking to someone who hosts radio, which is pretty cool. 

“How does it feel to befriend a celebrity?” Dan teases. 

Phil can’t help but feel his grin broaden, pinching at his cheeks. “Well, my nan was in a movie when she was young for about a minute, a background singer, so I had one already. You’ll have to live up to some lofty expectations, Dan,” he jokes back, already liking this Dan, from what little he knows of him. 

“So technically I’m speaking to a star himself right now? Wouldn’t we make the ultimate power couple? Both of us being used to the fame,” Dan decides he ought to slow down, he doesn’t want to freak Phil out with the talk of a relationship. 

Phil does find that a bit amusing. He’s sure Dan’s much more high caliber than he’s letting on with the radio show, compared to his nan. “Sure, I go out of my apartment every day with a big black cloak on and sunglasses, avoiding the media.” 

He pauses. “So what’s your last name? I think I told you mine, I’d like to look up your radio show, maybe listen to it online when you’re on so I can critique you,” Phil adds.

“Howell, but I'm known on air as ‘dan howl’ like a wolf howl.”

Phil lifts an eyebrow. “Definitely never turned into whatever station that is. I’m not quite sure what to make of that name, Dan, is it indie or pretentious?” He’s only teasing, but it is a unique title. 

“It started as an inside joke but I decided to keep it,” Dan remembers when his co-host teased him about the name on his first day, telling him it reminded him of wolves. He had heard the same joke his whole life about his last name sounding like “howl” but now that he was older he could laugh along with everyone else.

“Fair enough,” Phil says. Dan doesn’t come across as indie or pretentious, from what he made of him at their first conversation, and he’s still interested in learning more about Dan, even though he’s trying to at least play it cool, be  _ normal for once,  _ Phil Lester. “Well, I’m just known as Phil Lester, editor for the local newspapers for this city and the ones surrounding it. Stuff that’s written non-professionally.”

“And they are making you research traffic lights?”

Phil laughs. “Well, I mean, these are non-professional newspapers, covering any topic to try and get it landed in any newspaper anywhere. So, yeah, I’ve researched all sorts of things. Not that half of it sticks more than a few days or so.”

“So what made you decide to get into radio? You seemed - well - almost shy, when we met before.”

Dan takes a second to remember how it all happened. “Well, in school I had a project where I had to be interviewed and my response was recorded and it made me so nervous that the whole school would see me, but when it got to my part it was just my voice over a different clip. It gave me a rush being able to speak to a crowd without anyone looking right at me and I kept doing it for other projects and one day decided it would be the perfect job for me.”

He pauses thinking about everything he said then adds, “I want people to hear what I have to say, but I don't want the spotlight to be on me, ya know? It feels safer.”

Phil nods. Realises that Dan can’t seem him over the phone, says, “Yeah, I get it.” 

He coughs and shoves a hand over his thigh, nervous. “So, I guess it’s at least somewhat obvious why I left my number, so, maybe I should just ask and get it over with? Would you like to meet up some time after work maybe and have dinner or something with me?” 

He hopes he hasn’t misinterpreted Dan’s nature as interested instead of just friendly.

Dan, on the other hand, is ecstatic. The handsome stranger from the cafe has so far shown to be interesting and kind, so a date sounds wonderful. 

“I'm free Wednesday night.”

Phil smiles and doesn’t even care that it’s his quirky smile, his happiest smile that seems to just be weird to other people. “I’m free whenever, thanks to my work schedule, so if you’re available earlier by some luck, you should call me and tell me.’

“How about you give me your address and I pick you up, but you choose where we go so I know you’ll like it?” Phil asks. 

Dan told Phil where to find his apartment complex and where he could be picked up at on Wednesday (or earlier if time allowed).

Phil was almost finished with his article, and so after a bit more brief chat with Dan, awkward “Alright, I’ll see you then,” he tapped out the final bit of editing and sent it back to the local newspaper it was for for review. 

He could spend the rest of the night working, but he felt getting a date with a cute guy deserved a break for Mario Kart, and thus moved from his office to his lounge, tossing his phone to the side and playing video games for the rest of the night. 


End file.
